Respect Over Approval: Thriving Without Universal Applause

My mother shared a piece of wisdom that quietly reshaped how I navigate relationships and rejection. She told me about a conversation she had with my father’s twin brother—who candidly said, “Not everyone is going to like you.” It wasn’t meant to be harsh. It was a release. She explained how hearing those words helped her stop internalizing unprovoked comments or cold behavior from others. Instead of questioning herself, she began to shift her focus toward what she could control: treating others with respect, maintaining her integrity, and preserving her peace.

That conversation echoed in my own experiences—especially in professional settings. We’re conditioned to present the most polished version of ourselves during job interviews. We research the organization, refine our résumés, rehearse responses, and often walk in wearing our best blend of confidence and humility. Yet, even with credentials and preparation, the job offer doesn’t always come. That’s when we’re reminded: sometimes, decisions aren’t about qualifications or effort—they’re about fit, timing, or simply someone else's preferences.

I remember a pivotal moment early in my career that underscored this truth. During a performance review, a division director mentioned they wished I would speak up more in meetings—“like your colleague who always has something to say.” My colleague was friendly, charismatic, and extroverted. I, on the other hand, preferred to listen, process, and speak when I had something thoughtful to contribute. The feedback stung at first. But then I remembered my uncle’s insight. Not everyone values the same traits in the same way. My quieter approach didn’t mean I lacked value—it simply meant my style didn’t mirror theirs.

Over time, I’ve learned that trying to be universally liked is not only unrealistic—it’s exhausting. Striving for respect, however, is sustainable and deeply empowering. Respect is built through consistency, character, and a commitment to show up as your authentic self. Approval is fleeting. Respect, when earned honestly, endures.

Whether you’re facing criticism, navigating workplace dynamics, or reflecting on why someone seems distant, remember: you’re not here to win everyone’s applause. You’re here to lead, grow, and treat people well—regardless of how they receive you.

Because in the end, respect over approval isn’t just a motto. It’s a mindset.